Wednesday, April 21, 2010

When you know, you just know.

Before Brent and I were even married we discussed how many kids we thought we wanted.  Brent was set on two.  No more no less. My answer was usually two, maybe a third.  I’ll be honest the maybe was a BIG stretch.  If you know Brent and I at all, you are well aware of the state of planners that we are.  We like to keep things in check and plan ahead if at all possible.  However, mentally I just wanted to leave my options open in case after two I had a longing for a third.  When I was pregnant with Mikayla I savored each stage of the pregnancy knowing that it was most likely going to be my last.  I prepared myself, to allow myself, the time to know that I was never going to experience pregnancy again. 

Inevitably, not long after Mikayla was born, the questions from others began to be asked.  “Are you having anymore?”  Let it be known that during Mikayla’s super colicky phase I was sure to almost bitch slap the person who would dare to ask me this.  What I wanted to say was: Are you kidding?  I can barely keep this one alive let alone her older sister and myself.  I would be doing nothing short of aiming for a household disaster having a third.  But I usually would respond: “No. No I think we are done after two.”  I’d say this, with the biggest fake smile plastered on my face.  The other favorite question people ask is “Don’t you want to try for a boy?”  Brent’s dad was really worried about Brent’s name and the Eid name being carried on.  This however, doesn’t seem to bother Brent at all.  He is content being a daddy, completely wrapped around his two daughters little pinky's.

My mom told me last week that she could see me having a third.  Now if you read this blog on a regular basis, or know my mom at all, you also know that her mental clarity isn’t the sharpest.  I told her I didn’t think she was seeing the future too clearly because we, most definitely, are done having babies.

So, How do you know when you are done having kids?  How do you know when the number you currently have feels like the right number to stop at? 

It’s when you hold your newest baby in your arms and your oldest baby walks into the room and sees her for the first time.  When your heart feels like it might explode from the pride you have when your oldest climbs up into the bed to see her new sister and grabs her tiny fingers and together they interlock.  This is when you know.

When armed with your partner and your two kids by your side, the adults can never be outnumbered.  This is when you know.

It’s when you’ve been up 1/2 the night with a crying, colicky baby girl, and your 3 year old comes bounding up the stairs, promptly at 6 dot dot 4 and says “Morning Mommy! The sun is shining!” The sleeping baby you are holding is now content, your 3 year old is all smiles, and she is right--the sun is shining.  This is when you know.

It’s when your two little girls play on the floor together and their laughter echoes through the entire house.  It is so contagious you can’t help but laugh right along with them.  This is when you know.

It’s when you see and talk to other pregnant women and you don’t long for those feelings of a baby tumbling inside of you.  You remember what it was like to have your moment as a baby builder, not once, but twice.  You look to your daughters and you are complete.  This is when you just know.

How do you know when your family is complete?  Its a bunch of tiny little feelings and moments all wrapped up together.  All of these things telling you that; When you know, you just know.


Amanda Jean said...

I love this post, because when we talked the other day and I told you that I was surprised that you seemed so sure she'd be your last before even having Mikayla, your answer was perfect...this post is the perfect accompaniment to that conversation. Glad I waited until AFTER she was feeling better to ask though!

Amy said...

Beautiful. I hope I can be so sure and know when we are complete too.

Sara Sylvester said...

Cran-My Mom told me that before me she just knew she wasn't done with 2. My Dad was content with 2, but she just knew she wasn't done. After she had me she just knew she was done. I think you are right. I think you do JUST KNOW. Good for you. I am happy for you and Brent.

Tom, Jaime, Kendra said...

You always know how to word things so perfectly! I guess I will quit asking if you are done forsure:) Glad to know that I will just know! Thanks for the wonderful posts!

Chris, Kristy, and Jack said...


All I know is that when we have our 2nd child - we WILL be done. After 15 months (and counting) of trying to conceive a 2nd child, along with the meds - I KNOW we'll be done.

Renee Ann said...

This is a lovely post! Blessings on your family! (I'm visiting from The Girl Next Door contest.)

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Really beautiful!
I also love what you wrote on your Profile. I feel the same way.

Amber Page Writes said...

...and that's how I know I'm not done. I wish one was enough, but I want those things!