Thursday, October 20, 2011

The French Fry Story

Fresh from memory, less than 24 hours old, here is how it really went during the two days Mikayla decided to stick house flies and French fries up her nose.
Day 1: Visiting relatives in Ashland Wisconsin, we were admiring the views of Lake Superior atop the look out tower at the Northern Great Lakes Visitor Center.  Mikayla could have given a hoot about the lake as she was much more interested in the house flies that were almost asleep for winter.  They wiggled just enough to grab her attention but not enough to get away. Game on.  Mikayla snatched fingers full of flies before we headed into the elevator to travel down the two floors to the gift shop.  Admiring the facts on the elevator walls, Brent and I didn’t pay much attention to what Mikayla was doing.  When we got to the bottom floor I looked down at Mikayla and her hands were clean of the flies and I didn’t see a single fly on the ground.  “Mikayla, where are your flies?”  Brent muttered something along the lines of “I would bet money she ate them".  It was all funny until she looked at me, pointed and said “NOSE!”  Wide eyed, Brent and I looked at each other and asked her if she stuck the flies up her nose.  “Yeah. Yeah!” she answered.  A flashlight, a rolling industrial cart, and a keen eye, I saw the evidence shoved up her nostril.  Within a few minutes Brent sprung into action and Mikayla was able to blow not one, but two, still alive flies out of her nose.  Super funny Mikayla.  “We do not shove flies up our nose.”

Day 2: Three hours into our four hour car ride home, it was getting close to lunch time so we stopped to supplement our car lunch we had packed.  Mikayla always loves a good gr French fry so we picked her up some fries to munch on.  At this point in our trip, Brent and I just wanted to get home.  We’ve had fun, but we have laundry and house projects waiting for us at home.  Not to mention the girls are exhausted and needed baths before the day could end for any of us.  Five minutes down the road Mikayla utters “Uh OH! Nose!” And she started to cry. I looked back and asked her if she shoved the French fry up her nose and she said yes and she was mad.  Screaming and in pain, French fries don’t feel as nice as house flies, and this she lets us know about.  We tried to have her blow her nose, but she wanted nothing to do with letting us get even remotely close to her nose.  A quick call to our clinic and I was told if you can see the object but cannot get it out you need to come in and have it removed.  Fair enough. We were hoping that with all of her crying she sucked it back in and swallowed it.  She settled down and when we got home, Brent grabbed a flashlight and once again, we could see the culprit shoved right up her nostril.  Thirty minutes later I packed Mikayla back in the van and headed up to the doctors office. I thought I was going to head into the office and be out in 15 minutes, French fry dislodged, funny story number two done and only a memory, and I would make it home for Mikayla’s nap. 
Wrong (haven’t I learned that Mikayla has taught me to never EVER underestimate her).  A burrito wrapped Mikayla made things somewhat easier, but bit by bit the fry broke apart and the doctor was having no luck removing the “large chunk” wedged up far into Mikayla’s nose.  One hour later I left the office headed straight for an ENT who was to try and remove the “foreign body”.  You see, it was then given a medical term.  This is not so funny.  The pediatrician could not successfully remove the fry.    Using a small nasal vacuum, the ENT had no luck either.  This left us with surgery scheduled for the next morning.  I am pretty sure I said, on more than one occasion, “Are you kidding me? This has got to be a joke”. 

Thursday morning we headed to the surgery center for Mikayla’s FFE (French Fry Extraction-coined by Grandpa Crandall).  After a long wait for a late doctor, it was finally Mikayla’s turn.  The fry was lodged so far up and had caused swelling and irritation, they needed to give her an IV, put a breathing tube in, and give her heavy sedation so they could clean out both nostrils, making sure no debris was left behind.  When the doctor asked if I wanted to keep the French fry, I quickly answered “yes”.  I needed to document every bit of this tale… 
It took her 5 seconds to shove the fry up her nose, 2 different doctors to attempt removal, and 15 minutes of sedation to get the fry guts out. 

We are going to talk long and hard over the next few weeks about shoving NOTHING up nostrils.  And Lord, I hope she gets it.

2011-10-20 001 004
Above is the actual evidence (minus the dime)

I do not want her to be a repeat patient for “Foreign Object Removal” surgery.


Lisa said...

Oh Mikayla!! This is hilarious and nerve-racking at the same time! So glad the flies and fry have been successfully removed. :)

Aaron Mathison said...

That is a crazy story. I think I'm more disturbed by her desire to put the flies up her nose than the french fry. I'm sure fries are a favorite nose stuffing material for lots of kids, given their shape. But flies?