Wednesday, April 15, 2009

100 Days, really?

I was laying? (lying?) Oh I hope that there are not any grammar nuts out there...sorry I have no idea which one to use. Anyways, I was resting in bed last night, eyes all cloudy from watching the biggest loser episode with the makeovers and getting a good cry over the fact that the contestants were surprised with their loved ones. These shows have *always* made me get a little teary eyed. There is nothing sweeter than seeing people get reunited. I used to cry because I was so happy that they got to put their arms around each other and touch after being separated for so long. Until 100 days ago, I really had no idea what that actually felt like. Now I sob like a baby because I am jealous that my loved one isn't next to me. I can put myself in their exact shoes and know how raw their feelings are. Oh how I wish at that moment Brent is sitting next to me laughing at how emotional I am, but instead he works on controlling 800 miles away.

In my sadness last night I realized that he has been gone triple digit days- 100. Yes we've been lucky enough to have a few visits, but visits just don't fill the gap that having him home for good will fill. Six months ago I never would have been able to picture us separated, sure I knew it was inevitable, but I never really thought about it.

Now I just want it done.

Mallory woke up this morning and when I went into her room she started crying and saying she wanted her daddy. This is first time since he has left that she woke up really really sad. When I told her he would be home in a few weeks she said "But I want him home now." All I could do was hold her and say "Me too peanut, me too."

Please let time go fast...I am over this Oklahoma stuff. Over it.

1 comment:

Amanda Jean said...

100 hugs! You're far beyond half way done now, so don't count up, count down! You're almost done with this yucky separation thing, and I admire your strength for getting through it!