Friday will never be Friday again

It has been a long time since I’ve written about the Air Traffic Control side of life.  This is mostly because the job isn’t mine to talk about.

What I can talk about is how the wife of an Air Traffic Controller feels, over a year into “on the floor” training.  I could go on and on about the lingo (Bravo, maintain, cross Shawn at…) but I won’t.  I could tell you about airspace and map points (Willmar, Mankato..) but I won’t do that either.  I won’t talk about those things, because I stay home and don’t know nearly 1/2 any of what goes on in the depths of the center in Farmington.

What I can tell you about, is what goes on at home.

Our days of the week will forever be a three year old's version of how the week runs.  Our Tuesday is now Wednesday, our Friday now Saturday.  Your Friday makes my knees weak with how tired my husband will be at the end of the day, but your Saturday is so much sweeter knowing it is our Friday. I will never have a case of the Mondays, to me that is just an ordinary Sunday.  We’ve experienced lots of different Wednesdays and for just 3 short weeks Wednesday was actually Wednesday.  This was the most confusing 3 weeks of all.

It’s ok though. Over the last year and a half we have learned to adjust.  I have learned to adjust.  Change is inevitable and most certainly will happen with this career. We eat at least one meal a day with the man of our house.  Some days we even get breakfast and lunch;  those days are most special.  He works hard and pretty much never brings work home with him.  He studies and jabbers about different call signs that he must get right.  When at work he trains really hard. He tries to remember everything they want him to, all while trying to keep planes a float and far apart.  When he comes home, two little girls cannot get to the top of the stairs fast enough, while yelling “DADDY!!” waiting to give him a big hug.  The dog is followed close behind wagging her little doggy tail and excited to have the top of her head pet by her most favorite companion. 

We’ve made the adjustments and it has turned into our normal.  I never, not in a million years, thought I would fall in love with the schedule that we have.  I enjoy having the girls to myself a few nights a week and I love the days when Brent walks in at 3:00 pm.  Sure there are parts of the week that I loathe, but everybody has those days in their week. I am most in love with our weekend.  A special, almost 72 hours, that we spend doing all sorts of fun family fun.

He is one of the hardest working men I know.  He does it all without complaining.  Most days I am amazed that he can walk in the door, hang is ATC hat up, and put his Daddy hat on with such ease.  And now I must go.  It is your Friday, but on these days I usually head up to bed a little bit early.  I will undoubtedly find my husband curled up in bed almost fast asleep, to us, it is not quite Friday night. (Check time of post. 8:35pm)

The absolute other side

I remember the day three years ago like it was yesterday. I was sitting in the living room in our house in New Prague feeding Mallory (who was 6 months old) a bottle. Brent came into the room and said "I am going back to school to be an Air Traffic Controller. I signed up for school." The conversation continued with me asking a bunch of questions about this new found passion and career. I will be the first to admit that I was skeptical. I was worried. With all the cards stacked against him for this career, I never thought he would get a job, much less in Minnesota. As best as I could, I put my fears aside, nervously stepped on board, fastened my seat belt, and held on tight for the upcoming roller coaster of a journey we would take. I tried not to wavier. I tried to be supportive through all of the ups and downs.

Brent has always been good at proving me wrong and boy did he do the ultimate in proving me wrong. He not only followed through, he prevailed with exactly what he had envisioned...

Why, today, are we sitting on the "absolute other side"? Today when Brent went to work he was truly an Air Traffic Controller. Sure he's been working since January between Oklahoma and Minnesota, but that was all classroom training and simulated work. Today when he stepped foot on the "floor" he was going to be talking to real pilots and controlling real airplanes. Before you cancel any upcoming airline travel and book the next ride on an Am track train, don't worry. For the next year and a half he will be closely monitored by a training controller.

We have come a long way and most of you have followed our journey from the beginning. I've realized it will never be a chapter in our 'book of life' that we will close and never look back on. It's a chapter that has changed us and taught us more than we ever could have imagined. It is a chapter that will be used as reference, if and when, things ever get tough again.

Thanks and Thoughts

Most of you are probably ready for Brent to be home, simply so I stop talking about my woes of missing him. You will be glad to read that this is the very last post about the trip, and to your surprise, it isn't only about us. It is also about all of you.

As I reflect before Brent is actually home, I can't help but think that there is no way I would have mentally kept it together for these 4.5 months if I didn't have the support of all of our friends and family. I wish I could name you all and give you the recognition you deserve, but that would make for a long and really boring post.

No matter what part you played, large or small, you helped us get through this. Whether you sent an email of encouragement, a phone call to check in, or even commented on a blog post, your thoughts helped us. To those that gave me the mental break I so desperately craved for, either by taking me away or watching Mallory, you saved both of us from going stir crazy after spending so much time together. Thanks to you all!! We wouldn't have made it safely to the other side without your support and help.

I've learned a lot in the past few months. Though we weren't completely on our own, (we will owe my parents for the rest of our lives) together, though separated by hundreds of miles, Brent and I have grown as a couple. I never expected it. Never even thought it was possible. But on that first day when he left, we were faced with a crossroad. We could feel sorry for ourselves, wallow in our sadness, and throw ourselves a pity party when we missed each other; or we could take it as one of the last learning experiences from this entire transition; realizing that our love is plenty strong to make it through. We chose the later road and am I ever glad we did. We pulled ourselves together, admitted that we missed each other (a lot) but moved on each day, knowing that we would eventually get to May.

And here we are. It is Friday, May 16th 2009. Brent is on his way home as we speak, bound for Minnesota (excited, but still only driving 5 miles over the speed limit). Mallory's party planning is all taken care of; There are balloons on the mailbox, she is wearing a new blue shirt that says "Daddy's Little Munchkin" on the front and "We survived ATC training 2009" on the back. We have made the cupcakes and the ice cream cones will come out after the Taurus pulls into the driveway. Mostly her ideas (except the Tshirt) and she is so proud of the decorating and preparation she has done to celebrate having her "Daddy home for good".

I knew this would be an emotional day from the day he drove away. I knew that I could truly let it all go and breakdown after he made it home. I am a stronger woman, stronger wife, and lord knows a stronger mother after making through these last few months.

Thanks again for all of your support. We can only hope that we can pay you all back in one way or another someday...

I know you've all been wondering...

How many days are left until Brent is home? Check it out. 19 blue m&m's. That's it.

We've gone from 4.5 months down to 2.5 weeks. Mallory has big plans for her and her daddy once he gets home. She even has some surprises up her sleeve for the big homecoming day. However, those ideas will have to remain a secret since a faithful blog reader in Oklahoma may try to be sneaky and figure out the surprises.

It's the simple things I cannot wait for once we are a complete family again...

19 days and it will all be behind us!

100 Days, really?

I was laying? (lying?) Oh I hope that there are not any grammar nuts out there...sorry I have no idea which one to use. Anyways, I was resting in bed last night, eyes all cloudy from watching the biggest loser episode with the makeovers and getting a good cry over the fact that the contestants were surprised with their loved ones. These shows have *always* made me get a little teary eyed. There is nothing sweeter than seeing people get reunited. I used to cry because I was so happy that they got to put their arms around each other and touch after being separated for so long. Until 100 days ago, I really had no idea what that actually felt like. Now I sob like a baby because I am jealous that my loved one isn't next to me. I can put myself in their exact shoes and know how raw their feelings are. Oh how I wish at that moment Brent is sitting next to me laughing at how emotional I am, but instead he works on controlling 800 miles away.

In my sadness last night I realized that he has been gone triple digit days- 100. Yes we've been lucky enough to have a few visits, but visits just don't fill the gap that having him home for good will fill. Six months ago I never would have been able to picture us separated, sure I knew it was inevitable, but I never really thought about it.

Now I just want it done.

Mallory woke up this morning and when I went into her room she started crying and saying she wanted her daddy. This is first time since he has left that she woke up really really sad. When I told her he would be home in a few weeks she said "But I want him home now." All I could do was hold her and say "Me too peanut, me too."

Please let time go fast...I am over this Oklahoma stuff. Over it.

Weekend Recap

How fun are weekends when the weather is nice? Wow! We had a great weekend and it was made even better having Brent home. Mallory and I soaked up as much as we could and today we sit in a bit of a "daddy hangover" recovering from all of the fun.


Saturday morning we gave Mallory her very first big girl bike. Sure it has training wheels, but she climbed on that bike like she had been riding it for months. She spent the majority of her free time pedaling around and loving her bike. It was so fun to see. We quickly realized that her first "spill" off the bike is not going to come from her lack of skill, but from her "no fear" attitude...we shall see.

The Easter egg hunts were the other big deal for the weekend. We had one with Brent's family on Saturday and with my family on Sunday. The kids ranged in age from 2-7 and they all LOVED it.

The goodbye on Sunday night was much easier than last time. Brent and Mallory counted out 34 blue M&M's and when they are gone he is home for good. The hardest part was not only saying goodbye to him, but saying goodbye to such a fun weekend. The final countdown is on. Bring on the sunny and warm weather so these days fly by!!!

Happy Easter!

The Easter weekend is upon us and I am very impatiently waiting for 8:30 pm to come. Brent is currently in the air, bound for Minnesota and I. can't. wait. Mallory thinks she has one more day until he comes home so she will be super surprised come tomorrow morning. We plan on squeezing as much into the next few days as we can...I am sure Monday will be here sooner than we would all like to think about.

Brent and I bought Mallory a new bike (with training wheels) and we are going to give it to her tomorrow morning so she can hopefully learn to ride it before Brent heads back to Oklahoma for his last, very quick, stretch of time. He is home bound for good in exactly 35 days. I can't believe how bright the light at the end of the tunnel is getting.

I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend and we will update you all in a few days!!

She gets it, sort of.

So we have done two nights of the M&M countdown. The first night it took me telling her three times (in a five minute period of time) for her to grasp what it meant. Now when you ask her what happens when all of the M&Ms are gone she says "My daddy comes home!!!" At first, she thought it meant he would be home for good, but now she knows it is just for a visit.

She eats an M&M at the end of the day to signify that she made it one more day closer to her Daddy's visit. This would mean that she would eat the last M&M the night before Brent came home. This would spell disaster and a night of not sleeping due to the anticipation of seeing him the next day. So, I put an extra M&M in the cup and she will think she has one more day until he comes home, when in reality he will be getting her up the next morning. Hey, it may sound mean, but a girl (both of these girls) need their sleep...

Oh and in case you are curious, she has yet to scale her bookshelf to find the cup of M&M's and pour them all into her mouth. She just takes one and happily eats it while we read a story. Yet another reason why we may be doomed with BabyTwo...

She misses her dad.

Saturday proved to be a difficult day for Mallory. She was out of sorts and pretty grumpy. As the day went on it never dawned on me that her behavior might be centered around missing Brent, until we sat down for dinner. She looked at the chair that Brent normally sits in and asked if her Daddy was coming home for another visit and if he would sit in his chair at the table (that sits empty every night). I told her that he was coming home for a visit but that it was still going to be a long time because he still has to work really hard... I also told her that he was coming home for one more visit and then he would go back to Oklahoma for a little bit and the next time we would see him he would be driving his car into the driveway and would be home for good. She was thrilled!! I sighed a big sigh of relief thinking we made it over another hurdle. Until bedtime, when she asked if her daddy was coming home tomorrow. Oh no. At that point we still had 36 days until he was coming home, how was she going to understand that concept? I decided to wait it out a few days and see if she still wondered and asked when he was coming home. Sunday morning came and when I went in to get her out of bed she asked if her daddy was home. Oh boy.

Something needed to be done to help her understand the concept of the countdown of days. She doesn't quite understand the flow of the days of the week and she certainly doesn't understand that a week is 7 whole days bundled into one. I decided to bring out the M&M's. I counted out 33 M&M's and put them into cute little cup. Each night she will eat one M&M and when they are all gone then her daddy will be home! (Let's all hope this works) Tonight is the first night and I really hope she grasps the concept. I miss him so much (and it is apparent she misses him just as much) and this long stretch is feeling exactly that, long.

33 M&M's piled into a little cup make the timeline seem very short, which is good. We can do this, we are doing it, and we will get through it.

All visits must come to an end...

Brent made it home Friday night and it was so nice to have him back home for a few days. Saturday morning he got Mallory out of bed and her reaction was priceless. Brent opened the door and she said "Is that Daddy?" She sprung out of bed and clung to him and wouldn't let go. She kept saying "I missed you Daddy." She also asked if he was just home for a visit. It was very eye opening to hear her tell him how much she missed him and that she was sad when he was gone. She rarely tells me those things while he is gone. I guess it showed both of us that the depth of her missing him is just as deep as it is for us. I bawled like a baby seeing her with him. I know in the grand scheme of things this time away from him is short. She knows (and I as well) that it is not forever, but seeing her with him breaks my heart for the goodbye that came too quickly. She sure is a trooper...


We spent all weekend just being a family and it was great. Mallory got to wrestle with her dad and in the first 30 minutes of playing together they went from wrestling, to having a camp out, shopping and then a sleepover. She was just trying to soak up as much daddy time as she could. She did everything her dad asks of her without giving an ounce of backlash. "Mallory lets get dressed." Ok, Daddy! "Mallory let's clean up your toys before we play with something else." Ok, Daddy! As I sit gritting my teeth knowing that she would be fighting me tooth and nail to do the same thing...he laughs. Just wait, I tell him. I give the honeymoon phase 4 days when you come back for good...just wait.


We knew the dog missed Brent as well, but we we were shocked to see just how much. The first night and next day she wouldn't leave Brent's side. She barked and cried and made such a stink when he left to take Mallory out on Saturday. Even the dog deals with distance...


We went out to dinner on Saturday, which was delicious. Cheese fries, steak, salad, potato mmmmm. Sunday we met Brent's family at Perkins and then had a relaxing rest of the day.


I really loved the guilt free time that I got to spend with myself. Brent took Mallory for a few hours each day which gave me some time to just sit and be. I've missed that :) I also quickly realized that this "false reality" would quickly come to an end and we would back to where we were 3 days earlier. Pulling myself up by my bootstraps I have to tell myself that this will quickly come to an end and in 87 days he will be home for good. Mallory and I hope to make a trip to meet Brent in Dallas in 6 weeks or so and then 6 weeks after that he comes home for good. That is manageable right?


We dropped Brent off at the airport this morning. I knew this goodbye would be harder on Mallory than last time as she actually had to watch him walk through the airport doors and realize what "missing Daddy" was all about. We talked to her a lot about this visit ending, daddy going back to Oklahoma to work hard, and then us flying in a plane to see him in a few weeks. She cried almost the entire way home saying "Turn around mommy. I want to go see my daddy." Good lord. How am I going to hold back my own tears and use my quivering voice to tell her its going to be ok? I found a way. I don't know how, but I did. I told her it was ok to be sad and to miss him. I also told her (probably more times than needed) that he wasn't leaving us forever and that he would be back for good in just a few months. "Before the baby?", she asked(He better be) "Yes, before the baby comes." I also told her that when he comes home for good, that her daddy would take her to get a chocolate shake because the weather would be warm by then. It stopped the tears for a few minutes :)


And now we move on, and get through the next 6 weeks. What isn't killing us, is indeed, making us all stronger, even my 3 year old.

Tornado Warning!

If any of you personally know me, you most certainly know my greatest fear: Tornadoes. Deathly afraid of them, my heart starts to race, my palms sweat, and sometimes I even physically tremble if we are under severe weather alerts. Ugh, I don't even like thinking about severe weather season.

When Brent started thinking about other places to possibly work as an air traffic controller the weather was most definitely a factor in his selection. He knew that we wouldn't be going any place where the probability of a tornado was too high. When he landed Minnesota, I was grateful for more reasons then one. I've dealt with Minnesota storms my whole life, I can handle this.

Fast forward to 5 weeks ago when Brent gets sent to Oklahoma. He talked pretty tough about how he hoped to see a tornado or two... He even told me last week that the peak of the tornado season falls in April and May with some ridiculous number of tornado touchdowns in Oklahoma. He was very excited hoping to witness a few cool storms. Until TODAY. He called me on his way home from work saying that there was a tornado warning for his area, already. As he drove closer to home the clouds got darker and the sirens went off. I joked with him saying he brought it upon himself wishing for the weather, but he said he didn't think it'd be happening in February. Agreed. His house, as do most down there, has no basement. He said he thought he'd be spending more than one tornado driven storm in the bathtub of his interior bathroom.

Of course, I hope he stays safe and is smart about the weather. I have no doubt he will be. But if I were with him, I most likely would be drooling in the bathtub having a panic attack. No lie. I can't even wrap my mind around seeing wall cloud and a potential tornado touchdown. Nope hopefully not ever in my life. Yes I miss him. Yes I wish I could see him. But at this very moment, I am so grateful that I am nowhere near Yukon, Oklahoma.

Love you honey and I can't wait to see you this weekend in this cold, miserable, middle-of-winter-with-no-chance-of-tornadoes, state.

What is this little girl smiling about?

Her daddy read her a bedtime story for the first time since he left...and she was over the moon! Most of you know Mallory's love of books and being read to. We could read to her all day long and at the end of the day she would ask for, "just one more book, please?"

Before Brent left we video taped him reading a few of Mallory's favorite books. He sat snuggled in her bed, with the dog curled up next to him. He slowly read the book, saying "turn the page" each time the page needed to be turned. I sat behind the camera, not sure whether I should smile at the man who has become such an amazing father, or sob at the thought of his absence each night at bedtime. I did a little of both :)

I waited until Brent was in class and unable to talk to Mallory on the phone or via the web cam before I brought out the tape. When I told her what we were going to do, she didn't quite understand the concept. As soon as the tape played--she was in awe. The sparkle that lights up in her eyes when she sees him was lit again. She thought it was a live feed from Oklahoma and asked in amazement "Why, why, why (clearly confused) why does Daddy have Lucy in Oklahoma?" I explained to her that it was just a tape and then she wanted nothing but Daddy and Mallory time.

I am not sure if she listened to the story or just listened to her Dad read to her. Of course she wanted more when it was all done. I assured her that we would have Daddy read again another night. She climbed into her own bed and snuggled down with her animals.

31 more days and Brent comes home for a visit.

I. can't. wait.

Oklahoma Bound...

Brent made it to Oklahoma, safe and sound (it took him just under 12 hours)--moved in and is getting settled. The send off was hard. I guess I had no idea how hard it would really be. Mallory seems unaffected, not really aware how long this "Oklahoma trip" is really going to be. As the day unwinds, and I know he has made the long trip I am getting better and can talk about it without getting all choked up. I wish I could blame the entire emotional roller coaster on baby 2, but come on, its me...still the same old girl who cries pretty darn easily.

Day one is done and the good news is we will never have to do day one again. He needed to leave in order to come back and now we can count down to his return. In a small way I was so ready for this day to come and go, just wanting it to be done with.

Lots of you made contact with each of us today just to see how the travels were going... From a faithful blog reader in Oklahoma and the writer in Minnesota, thanks for your thoughts and wishes and we will keep you updated on his status!

Building a Bear

The day Brent got his assignment date for Oklahoma City my mind was sent into a flurry. I began thinking about all the things that would change for the 4 months that he is away. How would I handle it? Could I really miss someone for 4 months without going crazy? How would he handle it? But most importantly, How would Mallory handle it? What am I supposed to do when she misses her daddy so much that only he will do? A daddy's girl from the minute she arrived into this world, I know this transition (I am beginning to REALLY hate that word and I am so ready for it to be done being used in our lives) will prove to be tough. Armed with many ideas I set off weaning out the not so great ones and making lists with Brent for the good ones. One of the ideas was for Mallory and Brent to make a bear at the "Build A Bear" store. Brent would tell her that when he was in Oklahoma and she missed him that she could hug this special bear that they made together and it would be just like hugging daddy (sob sob sob...it will be ok)


Sunday morning we set out to just this. I was along for the picture taking to help capture the event (as well as to snoop along on this special project for them). Mallory walked right into the store and knew immediately which animal she wanted. A bright blue teddy bear. She didn't want to look at any other animal after she saw the blue one. She waited patiently in line with Brent. She picked out a heart, rubbed it to warm it up, kissed to add love and then put it in her bear. Once it was all said and done her bear was stuffed, washed, clothed and boxed up ready to go home. She named it "Peef". I made not a scene. Not a tear.

Peef "pre-stuffing"

Washing up!

All boxed up and ready to go home with us

When you ask her what is special about her bear, this is what she says "When daddy goes to Oklahoma, and I miss him, I will just hug my bear to feel better."


Lord help me get through this. I need a bear.

OKLAHOMA!!!!

Finally, after waiting over 5 months, Brent has heard word on Oklahoma! He will be leaving in early January and will return in the middle of May. We are so so excited!! We were losing hope that he might not go until late spring, but once again his persistence paid off. Aaaaahhh a big huge sigh of relief from both of us. We can now, after a year and a half, figure out what happens next. This is the date we have been anxiously (and patiently--well sort of) awaiting.

For those of you who weren't aware, OK is where the main headquarters for the Air Traffic Controllers. He will undergo 4 months of training at the Academy and then head home and begin working right away at the center in Farmington. He officially becomes a government employee as an Air Traffic Controller in January when he begins training.

Yippeeee!!!!

A few favorite pictures from the party

Eid Family Photo

Brent and his cool cake

We got him!

After months of planning, weaving a big huge lie and keeping way too many secrets from the one person in this world I tell everything to--we pulled off a surprise party for Brent. It went smoothly, but I think he is going to question my every move for the next few months as he was truly truly shocked.

To make a long long story short, I told him we had some things to take care of with my mom and my dad appreciated if he left for the day--hehehe--he took the bait, no questions asked and left Friday night to go fishing with Will. The Jovles helped with a plan to get him home on time, as we were "supposed to meet them for dinner at 5:30"--another bite of the bait. All the planning and all my nerves had me shaking as he came up the driveway as the 30 of us waited quietly in the garage. He drove up, got out of the car, closed his door, got his bag, garbage from the lake, map that he had been studying out of the car and walked up the driveway and into the garage.

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The look was priceless--we pulled it off!!! Best of all he loved the idea, loved the party, had a blast hanging out with everyone and we haven't stopped talking about it since. He keeps catching on to the little things that we had to say to cover our tracks. Needless to say, I am relieved its over, I never want to lie like that to Brent again. I don't think I need to throw a surprise party again.
The afternoon was filled with tons of food and games. You'll have to check out Kristen's blog for some great shots of the winners of the golf competitions--great pictures!

My favorite part of the night was the putting competition. We had a great gallery, a very exuberant commentator, plenty of heckling, a few lucky shots, lots of "ties going into the final round" and a great champion.

The gallery

Gary commentating and heckling as people putt.

Brent taking a putt with Jenny, mean competitor, waiting for her turn.

The CHAMPION-Ron beat out Brent

Great party, an even better reason to celebrate now that Brent is on his way to "goal accomplished" and I sure am glad its over :)

Congrats Graduate!!

We had a good weekend--busy, but relaxing all in the same few days. Brent graduated Friday and is officially ready to become an Air Traffic Controller (ATC from now on). The graduation took place at Flying Cloud Airport on Friday morning and consisted of a tour of the training center, a quick surprise tour of the airplane hanger, and then a short, but nice ceremony.

I can't believe he is done with school. This journey is quickly coming to an end--to only start a new beginning of an amazing career that truly excites Brent. I found this quote that sums it up pretty well... "A goal is a dream with a deadline" This is has been so true for Brent. He knew going into this career that he would have to work harder than anyone around him did. He had to earn good grades, get good test scores, have a great attitude, muster up a whole bunch of determination and wish for a small amount of luck for the stars to align and have it come out with a happy ending. He did it. As simple as that.

Brent receiving his diploma

Cleaning out his locker--see ya later school!

Congratulations Brent!!

Pinch me...I must be dreaming.

He did it. He did it. He did it! After a long long road (which is now almost behind us), I can joyfully shout from the top of the my blog...

WE ARE STAYING IN MINNESOTA!!!!

Brent has been selected to move on in the hiring process to become an Air Traffic Controller for Minnesota and we (especially him) couldn't be more excited! He will finish school in August and we will find out more details as the next few weeks and months go on...Ahhhhhh a big huge sigh of relief.

We want to thank all of you who continue to follow and support us on this long journey...

Cheers to Brent!!!